Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
