I cockslap morals
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
