Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
