me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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