it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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