Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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