apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
