I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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