he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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