At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
