apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
