she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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