hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
