I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
