I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
