Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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