awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
