I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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