On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
