sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
