It's just like the Real World with babies
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
