I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
