dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
