If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
