I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it's great music for shaving your balls
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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