nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
