This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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