I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
zippers are such a cool invention
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
