i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She has the best kind of daddy issues
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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