Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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