just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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