But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
