My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
