I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize