Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
