You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
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