We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
