A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my sisters under your porch take her home
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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