I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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