lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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