"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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