You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
