jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
