i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
