I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
