White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
