I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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