Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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