Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
