oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
