i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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